Is Aging Harder When You're Gay?

I found this article while randomly browsing the world wide web. I think it's an interesting topic... since no one can really escape the aging process. Enjoy! =)



Last week my partner and a friend both told me, almost simultaneously, that I had a few gray hairs coming in on the side of my head. Instead of realizing I often think that men with some salt-and-pepper are sexy and maybe I, too, could be sexy, my first thought was to panic and think I had to color my hair and maybe go blond ... again. Then I came to my senses and remembered getting older isn't a bad thing. It happens to everyone. But can everyone age gracefully? Is there such a thing as "gayging" gracefully?

As gay men, we worry about getting older more than our straight brethren. We go to the gym, eat healthier, use moisturizer and then fret we don't look good enough. We complain we're too fat or too frumpy and then go eat a big piece of chocolate cake and wash it down with a beer.

Of course this doesn't happen to everyone; but it's a pervasive attitude in the gay community. Especially among a sect of gays who primp until the cows come home. There are some gay men who put everything into their looks and attempt to use that to get ahead in life. Then one day, people don't pay as much attention.

What happens when our looks start to fade and the magic slips away, when those once-sexy "smile lines" turn to serious wrinkles and our once-flat stomachs start to move south and protrude? Is there still hope for love and acceptance beyond our outer layers? There comes a time in every gay man's life when he has to ask himself: Am I too old for Abercrombie? Generally speaking, yes. And if you don't think to ask, then you are. And yes, you look ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with aging. As gay men, hell as men, we have an advantage. Men tend to age better—assuming you take care of yourself or you're blessed with good genes, or both. I know a guy from my dog park who I recently found out is close to 70. My jaw hit the floor and snapped back up and smacked me in the face. I thought he was maybe mid-50s. He's in great shape and I know he exercises. The only thing that shows his age is his griping. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, but you know ... he's earned it.

The rest of us? We have to take stock of what we have and make the most of it. If you were a beauty queen when you were younger, get over yourself. It's time to realize there's more to life than just looking pretty. Hopefully your life has something, anything, you can be proud of. Look around you. Realize life can be great at any age, no matter how you look.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm going to moisturize and get my beauty sleep.

-----Written by Ari Bendersky on July 14, 2009, PlanetOut